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Monday, January 01, 2007

The Tender Bar

I just finished reading The Tender Bar by JR Moehringer. This is a wonderful book that I highly recommend. It is a memoir, so it's a true story. It's about a little boy who is growing up without his father. He takes refuge in the local bar where he seeks the company of the men of the bar. We follow him from childhood, to college to his first job in NY. The story is set on Long Island, NY, in a suburb of the city.

While reading this book I thought how wonderful it would be to have a place like the bar where he essentially grows up. The community and companionship is something we all seek. But like everything it examines how sometimes things in your life can hold you up, and how life has phases that you come into and grow out of. Something else I got out of the story is how big an influence others had on this boy and what a wonderful thing it is to reach out to someone and help them along the way.

Mrs. Bubba and I have had a similar experience with a bar here in NY. When we were studying for our PE exams we would study on Saturdays. So Friday nights we would go out to dinner and to our local bar so we could still have a night out, but also be home in a 5 minute walk. We got to know the bartenders and some of the regulars. But as we passed the PE and were not coming in so regularly and the bartenders went on and pursued their ambitions, things changed.

As we await the little Bubba, I sometimes think about how life will change. For one, I think most that read this blog are aware our days here in NY are now numbered. Our nightlife will probably take a hit as well. But what I've come to realize and also come to look forward to is that these changes are good and necessary. Everyone is right, things won't be the same anymore. We will miss our days down the street at the local bar, chatting with the regulars. But we can't grow, mature, better ourselves, and face new challenges if we stay stagnant, and stay where we are. Change is scary, but it is a inevitable part of life.

As our lives change, I hope we embrace the change, grow from it, and become better people from it. A fitting New Year's lesson for 2007, the year of big changes for the Bubba's.


katielady said...

Time to move on, there are better things to come!

Bubba's Mom said...

How nice to hear our Bubba - whose mantra used to be "change is bad, change is bad!" - embrace change. Since it is inevitable, it just makes things so much easier to be able to accept it - or even take joy in it. Bravo for you Bubba!

Bubba's Sis said...

Well, he DID say "Change is scary, but...inevitable..." That's not necessarily embracing it, but at least accepting it. Change that you initiate is OK; Change that blindsides you...BAD!